A Longing For Worth

I sat there, tears streaming down my face, frightened and angry, bitter and lonely, afraid to speak.

I wonder if I deserve this. Question my bravery to carry on as the days pass by, all the same.

But I still dream, still fight, still put faith into nothings… A writer without a story.

And it worries me to know that I falter, I fail to achieve these things which lazily float around my dread, I can’t be better, it’s just damned reality.

I wish I was brave… Strong enough to challenge fears, to give myself a better way to understand that this is surviving,this isn’t what life is like, this isn’t what you have earned.

I had hoped for things to change. For my struggles to cease, this thing called living to give me a chance to get onto my feet, and it kills me…. It murders my faith to keep moving from place to place and time to time and to know that I’ve done wonders, lived miracles and I’m still unhappy.

This isn’t what I dreamed to be.

I’m better then this.

Please listen to my pleading. Hear my cries of sorrow and save me.

Love me, hold me, comfort me… I’m frightened.

I need a sign.

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~ by The Fayte Poet on 10/20/2013.

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